The Way I Loved You
by Snowfallxo
Summary: He called me yesterday. He said that he wants to see me again. Sure, he’s the biggest popstar in the world. But can he keep the promise of forever and always? Smitchie/Naitlyn one-shots
1. smitchie

**A/N: Since I've basically stopped writing my other story, I thought I'd do two one-shot songfics on two songs. The first one's Smitchie, and it's based on "The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift. (The next one'll be "The Way I Loved You" by Selena Gomez, and it'll be Naitlyn.) I know it's a ridicuously original title -cough- for a fanfic, but... what else am I supposed to call it?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock (Disney does) and I certainly don't own the song in italics, written by Ms. Taylor Swift.**

* * *

**smitchie – the way i loved you  
****based on the song "the way i loved you" by taylor swift**

He called me yesterday. He said that he wants to see me again. Sure, it's been a year. Sure, he's the biggest popstar in the world. But can he keep the promise of forever and always?

It was the way I loved him.

_he is sensible, and so incredible  
__and all my single friends are jealous_

"Today," I whisper to the posters in my room. "He's coming today."

As always, the poster just stares right back at me with those empty light brown eyes. Of course it won't reply. It's a damn poster. Nothing like the real thing.

_he says everything i need to hear  
__and it's like i couldn't ask for anything better_

"Tomorrow night, dinner? With me?" he had asked me in his beautiful, melodic voice.

That was all I needed. "I'll be there," I promised.

_he opens up my door and i get into his car  
__and he says, _

"_You look beautiful tonight." _He smiles brilliantly at me, and I feel blinded by the perfectness of Shane Gray. What did I ever do to deserve him?

_and i feel perfectly fine…_

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
__and it's two am and i'm cursing your name_

Still on the phone. Still crying. Still can't believe it.

Yes, it's two am. Yes, every one of my friends is completely fed up with me. But I can't believe it. Would I ever believe it? I miss him, I miss everything we did…

_you're so in love that you act insane  
__and that's the way i loved you_

His goofy smile, his craziness, his way of making the world seem like it was in a state of paranoia and yet having everything in his control. It was the way I depended on him for my jokes, my laughs, my love.

_breaking down and coming undone  
__it's a rollercoaster kind of rush_

I scream in my sleep, I cry, I bawl. I come down with a fever, I can't go to school. I don't want to go to school. He's no longer my reason to exist. I felt like I was a teddy bear, forgotten and coming apart at the seams with no one to fix it.

_and i never knew i could feel that much  
__and that's the way i loved you_

That was the way I loved him.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_he respects my space, and never makes me wait  
__and he calls exactly when he says he will_

I remember when he would hold me, call me, kiss me. I remember when he said my name, followed by those three words that were just too easily uttered.

"I love you."

_he's close to my mother, talks business with my father  
__he's charming and endearing and i'm comfortable_

He pulled me in with that charming smile, and I was comfortable. Too comfortable. Then he pulled the chair right out from underneath me and the comfort was gone – just the pain of landing that came after the numbness of falling.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
__and it's two am and i'm cursing your name_

Too late. Still crying. Still numb, yet still hurting.

_you're so in love that you act insane  
__and that's the way i loved you_

Insanity was what I lived for now. It was what my life was.

_breaking down and coming undone  
__it's a rollercoaster kind of rush_

I break down, I can't be fixed. I'm not a train, I'm a trainwreck. Blown to pieces.

_and i never knew i could feel that much  
__and that's the way i loved you_

That was the way I loved him.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_he can't see the smile i'm faking, and my heart's not breaking  
_'_cause i'm not feeling anything at all_

The return to school has me in a cloud of numbness. I could barely hear, barely see, barely speak. It didn't hurt anymore. Actually, it didn't hurt. It was just numb. Cold. Empty.

Empty of everything.

_and you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating,  
__complicated, got away by some mistake_

_and now _I'm not sure what to do. He's left me forever falling into a deep dark abyss of heartbreak. I see him with someone else, and I wonder how he did get away. How did he ever want to break my heart?

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
__and it's two am and i'm cursing your name_

It's two am, and I'm asleep. No more dreams of Shane and his perfect hair, of his beautiful eyes, of everything I ever wanted in a boy. All gone. Was I cured? No. Was I healed? Yes.

But healings still leave scars.

_i'm so in love that i acted insane  
__and that's the way i loved you_

That morning, you could hear the sounds of tearing paper in my room. I tore off his face, trying to leave Jason and Nate's intact. They didn't do anything to break my heart.

_breaking down and coming undone  
__it's a rollercoaster kind of rush_

And now the rollercoaster was over. I felt like a little kid who wouldn't cry about it, but would refuse to go on it again for a long, long time.

_and i never knew i could feel that much  
__and that's the way i loved you_

And that was the way I loved him.


	2. naitlyn

**A/N: Not so happy with this, as I hit a road block halfway through, but... eh, whatever. Please R&R. (I enjoy knowing that there are people reading this.)**

**Disclaimer: Camp Rock belongs to Disney, "The Way I Loved You" is Selena's song. Don't know who wrote it, though. Oh well. I don't own it.**

* * *

**naitlyn – the way i loved you  
****based on the song "the way i loved you" by selena gomez**

_everything's cool, yeah, it's all gonna be okay, yeah  
__and i know maybe i'll even laugh about it someday_

I held the picture in my hands, thinking of the way it had been. The way it had been when everything was okay.

Then Nate was diagnosed. As if diabetes wasn't enough, no, it wasn't. No, something else followed. It killed me just as it killed him – as it was ready to kill his heart, it was killing mine too.

_but not today, no, 'cause i don't feel so good  
__i'm tangled up inside, my heart is on my sleeve_

When I heard the news, his diagnosis, I didn't go anywhere for four days. I cried and cried, feeling like a little baby. Of course Shane wouldn't have called Mitchie to tell her after their breakup, but she heard it on the news and we would talk for hours on the phone.

But it didn't help straighten out my very confused and tangled feelings.

_tomorrow is a mystery to me_

We didn't know when it would strike its final blow. And without that knowledge, tomorrow was as hazy as if we were stuck in a cloud.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_and it might be wonderful, it might be magical  
__it might be everything i've waited for, a miracle_

A phone call from Jason, confirming my worst fears.

Emails and texts from friends, screaming that they were sorry.

A visit from Mitchie, a girl dressed in black like I was.

Letters from Shane, tear stains decorating the page.

A present from Tess, her autographed guitar.

Everyone said that they were sorry. Why? It wasn't their fault.

_but even if i fall in love again with someone new  
__it could never be the way i loved you_

My heart was sick. A new love seemed impossible.

It would never be the way I loved him.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_letting you go is making me feel so cold, yeah  
__and i've been trying to make-believe it doesn't hurt_

I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I mean, I loved this boy. If I let him go, I'd let go of myself. And pretending it didn't hurt only made it hurt more.

_but that makes it worse, yeah, see i'm a wreck inside  
__my tongue is tied and my whole body feels so weak_

Insomnia, blackouts, migraines, they all hit at once. Symptoms of depression? That was what I was diagnosed with. Another diagnosis. More bad news.

And they hadn't held the funeral yet.

_the future may be all i really need_

Did the future hold the cure to a broken heart?

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_and it might be wonderful, it might be magical  
__it might be everything i've waited for, a miracle_

Mitchie pushed me up the aisle of the little chapel. It was dark inside; the shades were drawn to keep the paparazzi out. I barely knew what to say, and I kept tripping over my dress and other various invisible objects as I made my way to the pulpit.

"Nate." I choked again on new tears. "Nate, I love you. You're everything that I was waiting for. You're everything I wanted."

_but even if i fall in love again with someone new  
__it could never be the way i loved you_

"After the mark you've left on my heart, Nate, I won't forget you. Ever. If I fall in love again…"

Tears. More tears. I couldn't speak, couldn't see.

It would never be the way I loved him.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_like a first love, the one and only true love  
__wasn't it written all over my face, yeah_

As I walk through the graveyard, Mitchie comes running up to join me. "True love isn't always what it seems," she whispers. I know she's referring to Shane, but Shane's still alive. Nate isn't. Nate is dead.

_i loved you like you loved me, oh  
__like something pure and holy_

"I know he loved me back, Mitch," I said softly. "Shane might not love you back now, but Nate, dead or alive, loves me still. And it seemed perfect."

_like something that can never be replaced_

And maybe I'd never fall in love again. That seemed okay with me.

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_and it was wonderful, it was magical  
__it was everything i waited for, a miracle_

Flashbacks. Running on the beach, playing the guitar, writing new songs. His pretty smile, his curly hair, his beautiful brown eyes. Gone. All. Gone.

The miracle of life was failing me.

_and if i should ever fall in love again with someone new  
__oh, it could it never be the way_

A boy on the street walks up to me. I know him from school. Nick. Often teased about looking a lot like Nate Gray. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "About your boyfriend."

"It's fine."

"Um…" He pauses awkwardly. "I know it may seem sudden, especially after his death, but…" Another pause. "Will you go out with me?"

My head spun round. But I remembered this kid. I've known him for a while. He's nice. Normal. And cute, sorta. "Yes," I said. "I'd love to."

"Great," he said. "I'll call you."

_no, it will never be the way i loved you_

But even if I did fall in love with this new boy…

It will never be the way I loved him.


End file.
